Once I master these (and master them I will) I will post a recipe. But for now, you can just revel in your schadenfreude.
But don't revel too long. . .for behold, I give you chocolate-coated marshmallows.
While they are a little Sandra Lee-ish for my taste (in that they are a little overly precious, not that they are semi-homemade; I assure you that these are fully-homemade), I forgive them because of how well they photographed. See?
Drew and I made these together Valentine's night, because we had experienced quite enough excitement for the weekend, thank you. Okay, here's how you can make them, too:
(Warning: You need a stand mixer to make these. But what a good excuse for getting one if you haven't already! We were blessed enough to get one from my in-laws. )
3 packets of unflavored gelatin
1 cup of ice cold water, divided into 2 halves
1 cup light corn syrup
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 ½ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ cup powdered sugar
¼ cup cornstarch
Put the gelatin in the stand mixer along with ½ a cup of the water. Let it sit. Now combine the rest of the water, the sugar, the corn syrup, and the salt in a pan. Stir it, turn the heat up to medium high, cover, and let it cook about 4 minutes. Then uncover and clip a candy thermometer onto the side of the pan and continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees, then immediately take off the burner.
Put the whisk attachment on your stand mixer, then turn the mixer on low. While the mixer’s running, slowly pour the sugar syrup down the side of the bowl. Once all of the syrup’s in, turn up the speed to high. Whip it about 12 minutes—you will be amazed because it will start to really look like marshmallow cream! Add the almond extract during the last minute of whipping.
Put the mixture in a pan that’s been sprayed with Pam and sprinkled with the sugar and cornstarch. Let it sit uncovered overnight. The next day, you can take a heart-shaped cookie cutter and cut out shapes. Then you dip them in more powdered sugar and cornstarch. Then you are ready for chocolate!
Chocolate Dipped Marshmallows
2 cups white chocolate
2 drops red food coloring
Melt the chocolate over a double boiler, then spread on top of the marshmallows like icing. Sprinkle with sprinkles and let harden.
These are for those with a serious sweet tooth, because they are tooth-achingly sweet. We got the idea to make homemade marshmallows because of Molly's article in Bon Appetit on the subject. You should make them, too, because people are amazed by homemade marshmallows, even though they're so easy. People think you're magic--until they see your hideous petit fours.